Saturday, 30 May 2015

Sherry cherry rhododendron whispering / retrospective thoughts

I am 19 and I will be so for less than a month
Today I woke up to the smell of nectarines and thought of Crete
It's strange how in the seemingly short time
(because what is 19 years compared to an eternity)
I have lived so many lives, been so many people, and have met others (that made everything perfect),
been to so many places where I've just seen the light, and everything that makes sense in life

I've listed many places, so many countries
just writing them down makes me happy
Feel accomplished
it's mainly a privilege that enabled me to live that way - the privilege to live on a safe continent in a wealthy part of the earth, having the freedom to travel and collect new experiences
Hell, I've been living in a foreign country for 9 months now

Sometimes, being on my own for 2 days makes me feel trapped and lost

Even dreams can transform into something you wish was only temporary and yet, wish could always be

Life is one big trip and sometimes you just need to remind yourself that it goes on, even if it doesnt feel like it. And once you've reached the end of something you can't but wonder how you've ever desired for it to get that far.  And then it goes on.
Time passes but it creates the most beautiful nostalgia that makes a heart blossom like flowers in spring .

I think back to the time when I was surrounded by young people in South France that stood on a rock on a quest to find wifi

Or kajaking,  mountain climbing, sailing, sleeping under the ceiling of billions of stars there

Think of the time I had a deep conversation about life with a stranger in a park in nightly Berlin

How I saw my favourite band with a cute boy for the first time at a festival

That time I was surrounded by elderly aficionados of the United Kingdom and we all raised our glasses of sherry to the newborn prince

Many many perfect and soft summer nights

All the time I spent in Crete

The disco nights where we played on a swing surrounded by pink blossoms had colourful kids' cocktails that tasted of coconut

And when I came back many years later
At a birthday party at a house overlooking the endless ocean
I saw two girls that seemed happy together
And wore my blue dotted dress, drawing, and had gin tonic (loorbeer)
And how the stars reflected on our Jeep

The times I crocheted dresses for my toy cat and listened to detective audiobooks on the ferry to Greece

And when we went to the market, had locomadez and bought lots of fresh fruit and gingerbread shower cream

I remember my hair being in braids and all those early mornings and late nights at harbours

Or the night time/early morning going to a bakery and then being on a car for the whole day

The one time forest fires scared us and my spirit brother cat

Or the big supermarket in Patras that just sold all the things

and the time I brought my new camera with me and took so many pictures

.... I really wanna write a book about all these things...

why ever worry, when you have lived through all this beauty? ♡

words (c) alissa cha, 2015

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